Shermanisms

When I was smaller, I had this monkey. It used to spend most of its time in or near our aquarium humming and sometimes belching as it distractedly pawed at our cichlids. One day, as the sun was coming up, the monkey, whose name was Polite Elephant, sat bolt upright suddenly and fell over dead into the fish tank. I have no idea what caused that, but the cichlids seemed delighted, so we left him to float in there and then to eventually sink. The remains of the monkey, whose name was Polite Elephant, became nothing but bones and hair, and after a while, I was forced to dig him out as he had begun to clog the filter. Not much longer after tha

OK. So. There I was, wandering slowly, but slowly around my yard when I realized that our kittens were missing. 2 kittens of a like color, size and shape. Not related, but friendly, nonetheless. I could usually expect to be accosted by the two as they squirmed around and tried to climb me, but suddenly, they were gone. Missing. Vanished. *Poof!* I studied the terrain around me and decided that the only person who might know their whereabouts was the lady that lived across the road from me. I made my way over to her house, approaching cautiously, for the simple reason that she allows wasps, hornets, bees and small fur-bearing creatures t

My neighbor-up-the-road, Mr Buckles, has sixteen Great Pyrenees dogs that he lets roam his property. They are enormous beasts, on a scale with Saint Bernards., which he also has twelve of. Their coats(the Geat Pyrenees') are white or varying shades thereof and they are exceptionally good natured animals. Unless you try to wrestle their owner to the ground and shove loose gravel up his nostrils. Then, they become aggressive and sometimes can bite. I know this first-hand from when I was at my neighbor-up-the-road's house one day watching him water his bears (the four he keeps in concrete sewer tubes about six feet in circumference), when his o